Be proud to be a slut!!!

Hey Perves,

Here are 9 reasons why I fucking love sluts…

1. They Don’t bitch for attention
If you happen to miss calling them one time, it is not the end of the world. They will just be fucking someone else. We know this, so this is our choice. Just wear a fucking condom, like you should have been doing in the first place.

2. You don’t have to fake it
Yes, guys fake it too. Why? Because we are sick of fucking. It happens. If we don’t get a nut in the first two hours, we are not going to bust one. We know this. So we fake it. Sorry honey. When a slut is on your nuts, you are almost guaranteed a bust, because she knows how to bring you there.

3. You don’t have to worry about them cheating on you
Because they are fucking a few different guys during the same period they are fucking you. Who gives a shit? Pussy is pussy. Stop bitching about it and be happy you are having sex. You could be jacking off on the internet four fucking times a day. Not that you don’t anyways, but still…

4. They don’t just lay there
A slut can take the cock. For Christ sakes, she can take two at the same time if you talk to her right. They like sex. Often times, they ride the cock like a god damn matador, red flag and all. If they don’t, they are not real sluts. They do not deserve the name.

5. No relationship bullshit
We all know we don’t give two shits what a woman says. Why the fuck do we want to listen to it and have to act like we do? Sluts are easy. They take the pounding and leave, without trying to get you to express your “feelings”. Feelings are fucking stupid anyways.

6. You can fuck other girls
All the other girls. You know why? Because she is probably fucking your friends. This means it doesn’t matter if you fuck her friends. Don’t be a bitch and cry about it, because it is what you want. If it is not what you want, you should probably check your ass, because some guy probably has a dick in it right now.

7. It will teach you to wear condoms
You should be doing this in the first place. Kids cost a shit load of money. I am telling you because I know. Not only did little zero want a PSP for his birthday, his mom wanted child support. Ever paid 500$ for a PSP? I have. Learn from me and be happy you did.

8. You will not have to remember an anniversary
Because no one cares. She doesn’t give two shits if you remember the first drunken night that you slept with her. Maybe you didn’t even sleep. Maybe you just scrogged her and went home. She won’t expect a box of chocolates on that day. Just fuck her again.

9. Because they are sluts
They are the few women who can stand up and say “I like sex just as much as males”. That is fucking awesome. You other women could learn something from these chicks. Stop being so stuck up. Admit you like the cock and just let us give it to you.

Of course, once they start interrupting your day to day life like going out with the guys and getting hammered, then she's gotta go.

Until next time, the JUPA Man and his one eye helmet head.